Therapist First Session Checklist and red flags (Therapist Self)
- Jul 29
- 3 min read
SEVEE | PsychSocial
Therapist Self: First Session Checklist
Use this to prepare before a session, and reflect after.
What Does “Therapist Self” Mean?
The therapist self is not just who you are as a person, but who you become when you sit in the therapist’s chair. It’s the unique blend of your presence, values, emotional readiness, and professional boundaries that you bring into a session.
It’s different from your everyday “self” because:
You hold space without judgment or personal agenda.
You listen to understand, not to react.
You are aware of your own triggers and biases, and work to keep them out of the session.
You become a calm, grounded “container” for someone else’s storm.
“Other Enter as Self” vs “Therapist Self”
When you’re interacting with friends or family, you show up as your personal self — full of opinions, emotions, and shared histories.But as a therapist, you intentionally shift into your therapist self, which is:
Neutral, compassionate, and professional.
Able to witness pain without taking it personally.
Focused on the client’s world, while staying self-aware.
BEFORE THE SESSION – Am I Ready?
☐ Have I grounded myself (breath, body, intention)?
☐ Am I emotionally regulated (not rushed, reactive, or distracted)?
☐ Do I have a clear understanding of:
My therapist role (presence, not performance)?
Client’s presenting reason (if known)?
My own biases, triggers, or expectations?
☐ Have I created a safe, distraction-free space (physically and emotionally)?
☐ Do I have consent and confidentiality language ready to explain simply?
☐ Am I ready to listen more than I speak?
DURING THE SESSION – Am I Holding the Space?
☐ Did I welcome the client with warmth and neutrality?☐ Did I explain:
Confidentiality
Consent
Session boundaries (time, format, respect)
☐ Did I listen to understand, not to respond?
☐ Did I allow silence without rushing to fill it?
☐ Did I observe tone, pauses, and body cues?
☐ Did I avoid giving advice, solutions, or interpretations too early?
☐ Did I gently explore goals without pushing?
AFTER THE SESSION – Reflect
1. How did I feel during the session?(Write a few words or sentences)
2. Where was I fully present?(What moment made me feel grounded or connected?)
3. Where did I feel triggered, unsure, or distant?(What came up for me, and how did I handle it?)
4. What was the emotional tone of the session?
☐ Calm ☐ Anxious ☐ Heavy ☐ Confusing ☐ Hopeful ☐ Guarded☐ Other: ___________
5. What will I carry forward into the next session?(Any insights or therapeutic threads to hold on to?)
Therapist Reminder:
You are not here to fix. You are here to hold.The client’s silence is not your failure.Your calm presence is already doing the work.
🚩 Red Flags in a First Therapy Session
Notice these gently — not with fear, but with awareness.
1. The Client Refuses to Acknowledge Consent or Confidentiality
They skip past or dismiss your explanation.
They say things like “I don’t care about that formality” or “You won’t tell anyone anyway, right?”
Respect for the frame is foundational.
2. They Ask Personal or Boundary-Crossing Questions
“Are you married?”
“Where do you live?”
“Can I talk to you outside session?”
Some curiosity is natural — but watch for testing your boundary early.
3. They Want Quick Fixes or One-Time “Magic”
“I just need you to tell me what to do.”
“One session is enough, right?”
Might indicate unrealistic expectations or therapy illiteracy — respond with psychoeducation, not judgment.
4. They Speak Disrespectfully or Try to Intimidate
Overpowering tone, dismissive body language
Mocking therapy or therapists
May reflect deep mistrust — or may signal manipulation.
5. They Avoid All Emotional Contact
They only give facts or talk about others, not themselves
They intellectualize everything
Could be defense — or could indicate lack of readiness for inner work.
6. They Flatter Excessively
“You’re the best therapist already.”
“I feel healed just talking to you.”
Idealization early on is a sign of unmet attachment needs — and a setup for disappointment.
7. You Feel Drained, Dizzy, or Uncentered After the Session
The client didn’t do anything “wrong” — but your nervous system feels hijacked
Your body is wise. Pay attention. This may indicate early countertransference, trauma mirroring, or enmeshment risk.
Therapist Reminder:
Red flags don’t always mean danger — they mean slow down, observe, supervise.Don’t self-doubt. Just take note. Pause. And prepare.
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